The cutest nieces in the world....

I spend the last week in Cinci (mostly) and almost-not-quite two days in Cleveland. The objective was to hang out with the cutest nieces in the world. We drew an ocean on the driveway, putting everyone in their own boats, drawing fish, sharks, dolphins to protect us from the sharks, seaweed, suns, sand, our names. We played at the park. We played with the garden hose turning it into a sprinkler and getting Uncle Mike wet. At McKenna's party we played Duck, Duck, Goose with a 10 other friends in the front yard. We rubbed the chalk down into dust and smacked our hand in it and left hand prints all over the ground and got away with it because I was the aunt watching over them. We read short stories before naps and long stories before dinner. We asked a gazillion 4 year old questions and I came up with a gazillion answers to those questions. We shopped at Target and left with two grocery carts full of balls for the party that the employees talked about for days (I found out when I went back to get cold medicine.) We went to swim lessons. We went to a picnic with their school. We played hopscotch. Margie, Jon and I drank wine and played cards. I caught a cold. I read a book. I helped my bother with a mailing for work. I helped Margie get the food ready for the party. I hung out with my younger brother, his girlfriend and my parents and talked about my hilarious grandfather. I played rummi with the 'rents and drank the local microbrew. I got a sunburn. My tattoos did not. I hung out with Kathy and her kids for a bit. We went to Target too. I bought a few more books to read. I was inspired to write. My flight couldn't land in Chicago. We refueled in Grand Rapids and I missed my connecting flight. I got on the next plane out. I was happy to be back in Seattle.

Not taking my skates...

I am an uber efficient packer.  I will pull out all of the things I need the night before, cut them in half and then trim them again the next day.  Living aboard has taught me that you already know what you need when you travel.  You don't need that one sparkly fun shirt you got in Mexico because you still have only worn it once here.  You don't need that fun summer dress unless you are actually committed to going to a wedding or special event (really, they rarely "arise".)  You don't need to try that new toothpaste now and you don't an extra pair of fun shoes.  You don't need more than two books (one for the flight there and one for the flight back) and you don't need your skates - unless you are going specifically to skate.  And you have plans to skate.  With other roller girls.  On teams.

Like many roller girls I have schlepped my skates with me to countless places - mostly home.  Where my nieces like to try to put them on.  Or wear my helmet around the house.  I say "I will skate in the park by my brother's house" and the one time you do doesn't justify bringing out your skates.  And I have plans to take the girls skating.  I have plans to spend time on the trail by my brother's house.  But seriously.  I don't need my skates.  I don't need the extra conversations on the plane (they'll eventually find out you're a rollergirl); I don't need my helmet banging people in the head as I walk down the isle to my seat.  I don't need the shoulder ache.  I don't need to worry.  And I'm not going to RollerCon (conference just  about skating) or to another city to play.  Really.  I can get my exercise from walking on the trail by my brother's house or chasing my nieces around the yard.

I just don't need the skates.

Obsessive, Compulsive, Inspiration being held at bay...

I am obsessive/compulsive when it comes to cleaning-my-apartment-before-leaving-town.  I have always been this way - and I'm not sure why.  I use to start big projects like sorting thru all of my clothes, going thru the box of "needs to be filed before the next century", or detailed fridge cleaning before I left.  These projects would last well into the night and absolutely had to be done before I left.  But now, without the aid of medication or meditation,  I've got it down to vacuuming, doing laundry, changing bed sheets and putting things away.  

Even if someone else is living with me - I have to clean.  Even if I'm just going out of town for the weekend - I have to vacuum and get things put away.   And it's not because I'm afraid of what my apartment will look like for that person whose coming to check on my cats.  It's not because I'm a fatalist (which I'm not) and think this could be my last trip and someone might have to put my affairs in order.  I think it's because 9 out of 10 times I come back from my vacations or travels late at night, exhausted and the last thing I want to do is find something to wear to work, sort thru a pile of mail that's now two weeks old, clean the rotting food out of the fridge.  I'm truly obsessed.  It's a funny habit.  But at least I am aware... My name is Michelle.  I'm an obsessive compulsive pre-travel cleaner. Give me that sponge and get out of my way.

That being the case and tonight being my only free night before I travel (after a long derby weekend), I skipped out on the HIV Vaccine Awareness Day event at Chop Seuy.  No.  There is still no vaccine for HIV.  But we need to keep working on it.  We need to stay aware.  We need to celebrate where we've come and where we have yet to go.  And I was excited to go to a drag queen fashion show, had a t-shirt specific to the event to wear and hoped to dance the Monday night away.  But the need to clean, (I am aware of my problem) and the even stronger deterrent of freezing cold rain has kept my inspiration at bay.  I didn't even go swimming.  Damn it - the rain - after such a glorious weekend.  It will totally kill your motivation to do just about anything - except clean.

Goggles

When I got out of the pool tonight (down one type of stroke, back another, down one type, back another, bubbles, breath, kick, arms) I noticed a pair of goggles on the bench.  I noticed another pair in the soap dish and one hanging on a towel hook.  It looked like the after math of a goggle party - all strung out in the shower room - precariously.

Tonight was a good night to swim after a weekend of eating out, drinking beers, watching derby, talking to derby skaters, bouting with a team of skaters you'd never met before, driving around Oregon (Portland to Eugene and back to Seattle), sitting in the sun, sitting on the floor, sharing your secret to eating gummy worms late at night with your best of derby friends, accidentally punching your sleep mate because you dreamt there was a lion in your apartment and the police wanted to keep her there until they arrived, seeing your Cleveland friend at the Portland bout, having sushi with your Cleveland friend when you go back to Seattle on Sunday, wishing our mothers happy mother's day in rotation on Sunday on the way home.  

It was a great weekend.  And a good evening for a swim.

2 Months to the day...

"Hi Michelle - it's Kristen!  How are you?"

"I'm great!  How are you!  I heard you broke your ankle (like in December)."

"I hear you had some random surgery... how are you?"

And so started my 15 minute catch up conversation with someone I consider a good friend and colleague but whom I rarely seem to talk to.  And it was easy to get caught up - she was inviting me to an event I couldn't afford - I was trying to plan a lunch together that wasn't going to be $125 (price of the ticket to the event.)   And we talked about our respective injuries and surgeries.   I realized it was two months to the day that had my surgery - the first Thursday of March.  It was the first Thursday of May.

And for some reason it all snapped into place tonight when I was swimming - which was tough. Maybe it's just taken a while to recover.  It's not like you have surgery and you bounce back and even when you do bounce back it doesn't mean you're better.  It doesn't mean you have the same drive and stamina and maybe, just maybe, though you feel great, you might still be recovering.  You might need to cut yourself some slack and just let it be.

Or you just might need a damn vacation.

Relaxing weekend...

I took Friday off to go to the new penguin exhibit at the Woodland Park Zoo. Of course it was an utter madhouse with a gazillion parents and children there also wanting to visit the penguins. Lara and I went and say the giraffes, lions, wild dogs and other animals first while waiting for the lines to thin out around the penguins. There are some pretty spectacular things that happen at the zoo during the day - like feeding the giraffes. That was a lot of fun. (I learned that their tongues are black as not to get sunburned because they're always sticking them out eating things.) We headed back to the penguins - they were pretty funny. They all seemed so excited to see all the people - they would swim to the edge of the glass and look at all the people, swim away and then come back.


Friday night was the Carnie Dance Dance Party. My team is known for their enormous desire to cut a rug at any given opportunity - even while on the track before the jam is about to begin - and we had a great time! There was a big problem with the speakers in the beginning (or lack there of) and we were in competition with a birthday party that was suppose to bring more than 75 people (more like 10). Minus an incident here and there, we had a blast. Gorditos (where we held the event) wants us to do it again. My team would love to do it again.

Saturday was suppose to be a continuation of Carnie fun times but the rain set in and kickball was canceled. I took it as a sign to clean my apartment and eat sushi! Delicious. I also went to hear my friend's very loud band. Sunday found me at the Ballard Farmer's Market where I was Jones-ing for my P-Patch - wishing I was growing my own lettuce as opposed to buying someone else's. I went to Hydrofit with Glitter and Ruthie and headed off to Anya's bridal shower - which was a lot of fun too. Hammer, Rebel Belle and I won for best t-p wedding dress. It was the first time I had honestly made one of these - in all my wedding attending, I had somehow missed this game though I had heard of it and even recommended it.

Last night I finally "got back on the grid" and checked my email - signaling the end of this fantastic weekend.

Flu...

My friend sent me an email today with this picture and the subject on it read "How you really get the swine flu" which of course made me laugh. I'm totally taking this seriously but I have to admit it's a very confusing thing - why the level 5 of 6 in regards to "pandemic" ratings. It also makes me sad on others levels. 10,000 people had died of AIDS and still President Regan wouldn't even say the word. I don't remember when it reached the title of "epidemic" but I do know that some people (scientists and others) were definitely paying attention to it long before the public was. I'm sure more that 110 people (number in US who have Swine Flu) had died of HIV/AIDS before it got mentioned anywhere besides a CDC report.

It's not fair to compare them, I know. One is a horrible disease at caused agonizing deaths and we had no idea how it was spread or could pin point what you really died of. The other is the flu. We now know how you get AIDS. Someone sneezing can get you the flu (but not AIDS). And our media's LOVE of fear and panic is just exhausting. Really.

So in honor of epidemics, I'm going out to dinner with my friends to night - we're going to Dine Out for Life and support Lifelong AIDS Alliance. Because there is still an epidemic going on - even if it has been downgraded to a "chronic illness" in the US.

The real flu...

One summer in middle school,  when my grandfather was still alive, I was downstairs in the basement of his home, snooping around, when I ran across a photo of a woman who was rather young, quit pretty standing sternly with a slight smile on her face on a mountain side, a rocky grade of boulders.  On the back of the brown press board photo was the name "Odia".  I asked my grandfather "Who is this Odia?"  She was his sister.  She was the oldest of his siblings - Odie, Oscar, (America) Jane and Owen.   My great Aunt "Odie" died in the 1918 Great Influenza Epidemic (or Pandemic).  She was 17 or 18 years old.  And I learned, in middle school, what a great epidemic this was.  Half a million people died in the US alone.  Millions of people died world wide.  My great uncle Oscar would later kill himself in the early 1960's leaving my grandfather Owen Dorr and my great Aunt (America) Jane (Dorr) Simeth as the remaining family - and really the only Dorrs I would know.  I have no idea what it would be like to lose a family member to an epidemic.  AIDS isn't even close to being able to compare - so I won't even try.

And I listen to these stories of the pig flu - and yes it's important to be concerned and pay attention.  But wow - I can't even imagine being a part of a massive influenza outbreak.  And being remembered as beautiful woman on a press board...

A quiet walk in the hood...

I tried to go on a walk with one of my teammates tonight but our schedules didn't cooperate so I took off on my own - too late to meet up with those already at Greenlake.  I walked down 65th Street towards the Puget Sound.  I know there is a quick way to get down to Golden Gardens from the time a couple of years ago when Pygmy, Listie and I accidentally walked from Carcreek Park to Golden Gardens (during low tide).  We walked up the stairs to the top of the hill and back to her house.  But I wasn't exactly sure which street that was so I kept walking... It was a lovely evening - in the high 60's and the air was filled with the scent of every possible thing in bloom.   Eventually 65th dead ended into 32 and the hill sloped down towards the water and it was a beautiful evening with the Olympics just beyond Puget Sound.  The older houses I walked by were lovely - and why not - they had one of the best views in the city - with windows facing west to capture as much light as possible.  

I passed by the Nordic Heritage Museum - which I knew about but didn't know where it was located.  It looked like it might have been a school at some point in Old Ballard (and reading their website you find it was just that -  red brick school building that was originally Daniel Webster Elementary School. Located in Ballard, the heart of Seattle’s Scandinavian community, Webster School educated generations of Scandinavian and other immigrant children who came to this region, including many of our own volunteers.)   My family is half Norwegian - my father is Norwegian (mother right off the boat) but I can't say I felt much affinity for Norway.  It was mostly something my grandfather would make jokes about. Though it might be fun to visit.  

It was a nice evening to stroll in my neighborhood - I need to spend more time it.

A derby wedding, a nail biting bout, a dance dance party...

Recently, I was starting to think that things were getting a little boring in my life.  When people ask me what's up? It's the same things - work, derby, work, derby - outings with friends, a swim class here or there, committee meetings, derby, work, derby.   This weekend was a great example of how that derby, derby, derby makes it so much fun.

Saturday was open scrimmage and there were just not enough skaters that we all ended up playing a ton.  I got to scrimmage with my derby wife - we're a great combo - and some other skaters who I don't skate with much.  After scrimmaging, we headed to the Rat City Rollergirl bout.  It was a going to be good match up.  We were confident that the last place team (Grave Danger) who had recently spanked my team, could pull off a win.  And what a game!  It was a total nail biter.  GD got off to an early lead and held it into half time.  They started to slip in points but never too far behind.  The crowd was on their feet for the last 5 minutes and Carmen Getsome tried to bridge the 15 point game with an incredible jam but only managed to score 14.  They lost by one point.  It was heart breaking but exhilarating and inspiring.

Afterwards we (a group of about 8 Carnies) all headed over to the Fun House where the after party was happening and this time they picked the right DJ - it was all 80's all night and roller girls love to dance to 80's music.  There were many recounts of the great games played earlier in the evening - lots of love - I was the driver limited to 2 beers but so much fun.   just about closed the bar down - again.  And as another skater told me as we are leaving, "Carnies are FUN!"  You bet they are.

Sunday I skated with Mona and Lara at Myrtle Edwards, working off some of the alcohol from the night before.  Lara and I headed off to Betty Ford Galaxy's wedding.  Yes, she use to be an alcoholic.  Yes, she's sober.  And derby was a big part of all that.  She also started Seattle Derby Brats - one of the first junior derby leagues in the nation.  So it made sense that derby would play a huge role in her big day.  

The Derby Brats and Tootsie Rollers came skating down two different aisles with pink tutus on to the song "Brand New Key".  The groomsmen strolled down the aisle in powder blue suits, giant afro wigs, and sunglasses to the song "Shaft".  The bridesmaids on their arms wore sunglasses and black and white dresses like they were glam-stars and had no idea of why they were there.  Betty enter wearing a giant pink dress, with enough tulle to make a couple of tutus on the traditional "Wedding March" (Here Comes the Bride).  It was pretty unique and pretty fabulous.  There was cake, punch, and plenty of toasts afterwards.  It was a gorgeous day.  A great weekend.  And not a bit boring.

So Disappointing...

Tonight 6 of my teammates went to Hydro Fit to work our butts off and laugh our heads off - when we saw that our class was not going to be lead by Chandelle (who had been asking me to bring out my team).  The disappointment was palatable.  We looked at each other in disbelief.  And though we tried to follow the new instructor (who was new to the pool and clearly to teaching this class), we couldn't.  We were all so disappointed.  At the end of the class, I asked the instructor if Chandelle had switch pools, teaching at a different venue or was subbing somewhere else.  She said, "No.  She's not here... she was fired."  We went into the hot tub and plotted ways to find her.  After getting showered and heading out, Wibe went over to the lifeguard (not the instructor) and started some small talk.  By the end of the conversation, Wibe had a scoop that she wasn't let go on the best of terms and that the place was boring without her.  She also gave Wibe contact information to get a hold of her.  Woot!  We'll find her at another gym - at a Y - or somewhere and join her class there!

We can't wait to laugh and drown at the same time!

Another bout sittin' out...

We have this policy in our league that you have to be back on the floor, practicing our full contact sport ONE month prior to skating in that bout, no matter what the source of the injury was - from a broken ankle due to a fall in derby to a problematic omentum - you have to be bouting full contact for a month.  I was given clearance on April 1st - which was only two weeks ago.  And though my injury is healed and I feel GREAT (a little less on the endurance side) I couldn't bout.  But it didn't kill me either.  It was a total bummer not to be able to bout Grave Danger (my friend Sara Problem's team) I was glad to help out by calling the lineups.  

Of course I learned a lot by calling lineups - my second time in a row.  As a captain, I use to spend hours agonizing over them.  What I've learned in these last two bouts is that they a

ll go to hell after about the 6th jam  because people are in the penalty box.  Really don't stress about them.  Figure out how to get a good lineup in and make sure you're having fun.  That's how my team does well.  We play 10x better when the premise is to go out and have a good time.  It should be our strategy from here on out.

Sunday, post bout, Easter, cold, rainy, bleh, I spent curled up on the coach with my coffee watching a documentary about a woman who had survived the Holocaust and was having a real hard time with her grandchildren marrying outside her faith.  It was a tough film and touching but didn't put me in the best of moods.  I went to hydro fit to clear my mind - but had a new instructor and though I liked her work out - it was a little repetitive (read: boring.)  Dinner at Heidi's was a chilled out good time with kids.  After dinner, Lara had rented Twin Peaks from the library - which I use to watch in the kitchen at the Chinese restaurant (I worked at in high school) on Sunday nights while trying to clean up and close down for the night.  I totally remember certain parts of it and others are just baffling.  It's fun to watch because it's suppose to take place in Washington (filmed just outside of Seattle actually).  What a funny show - so dramatic  - it cracks me up now.  The 90's were good at that.

* photos of peeps.  I love peeps.  I use to use them in dioramas and such since college days... also in the 90's...

Playing Hooky...

I was having a hard time today  getting back on the "wagon" - work wagon that is.  (Never mind the fact that I was tired from two practices in a row, late night meeting and getting up in the middle of the night not feeling well.) After three months of intensive deadlines, writing new web content, pushing the envelope, working on budgets, burning brains cells on branding and bullying people in to getting me what I needed - I'm having a hard time getting to energy up to "get back to work".  I have plenty of work to do.  Plenty of deadlines - tons of actual fundraising and more branding to do actually.  But with the sun shining, windows open, the sounds of skate boarders coming down Pine St., I'm distracted.  And I'm not the only one.  You can totally tell that it's the first few days of spring because people are taking longer lunches, leaving early or are generally in a great mood.  The first days of 60+ weather in 6+ months makes you do funny things.

So I left work a little early - went and had a beer with a coworker, took the bus home and then curled up in the sun and took a long cat nap... kind of like Fezzy.

A looooong weekend...

I took Friday off because I was doing a small presentation and tabling at an HIV AIDS and Black Women Conference. I talked about the CAB a little and microbisides which, hopefully, one day will allow women to take control of their health and be able to do something to prevent AIDS (instead of having to trust men to do). I also went to a workshop about the web of violence and trauma (rape, slavery, police brutality, medical experimentation), and black Americans and how it makes them more susceptible to HIV infection. I had learned this at various points in my life - mostly thru literature and film but was reminded of it. I left at noon to grab lunch with a friend and go home and clean! I threw open the windows (it was starting to warm up) and shoo out the dust.

Early Saturday morning a carfull of us headed north to Marysville to volunteer for the MS Walk. About 11 Carnies showed up to volunteer at the first station. Half of us handed out water, jerky and oranges while another group of us went around the corner and flagged walkers the right direction. It was was super fun - partly because we spent most of the time entertaining each other and the othe part because it was nice to be doing something for the community that didn't involve raising money for our team... that would come later that night. We packed it up around 11 a.m. and headed back to our homes.

There was a merby (men's derby) bout later on Saturday coupled with a Tootsie Rollers (little derby girls) and a Brats (bigger derby girls) bout.  It was awesome to see three (ok, 2.5) generations of derby action.  Merby is exciting for about 20 minutes then you're like, Ok, they don't play by the rules, they're all about showing off, etc.  We left the bout early and headed to a bar night in Lynnwood - it started off shaky but ended up being a night of pure laughter.  There was a teammate who was a one woman show (but not that she's-so-drunk-I'm-embarrassed-for-her type of thing.)  We raised some money and had a great time.

Sunday-super-sunshiny-ball-in-the-sky, I outdoor skated with some teammates having a heavenly time.  It was beautiful!  I took a cat nap, watch bout footage, went to practice and came home - having had an incredibly long, but rather satisfying weekend - which admittedly made Monday rather disappointing (except practice ROCKED)... there's always Tuesday.  And if that doesn't make the week better, then there is a chance to play hooky some time... and enjoy the sun.

*Carnies at the MS Walk

No foolin!

I missed the Express bus today when I had to turn back and get my very fun winter hat - which I bought at the Ballard Farmer's Market a week or two after my surgery. It's a great hat! Very Doctor Seuss type of hat that gets many laughs and conversations. It's also felted wool and very, very worm. I got it on sale because winter was over. Well, I've worn it for two weeks straight as Winter is still hanging - not even by it's fingernails. Winter is hanging out at the bar down the street with no intention of moving until well after the customers have been kicked out, the doors are locked, the bar is closed. Damn, it's only Happy Hour. It's April 1st. There was freezing cold rain in the morning, snowing by noon, and freezing cold again in the evening. Nope, it's just happy hour. I don't care if Spring wants to come on in...

*Carnies dancing this weekend with parasols.

Terrible at being Evil...

is the caption of this photo taken by EdgarDiazRocks from my last bout... in which I didn't get to bout in because I was (obviously) recovering from surgery. But it's true - I'm no good at being evil. Hardly any of my team is... we're too nice, happy and enjoy each other's company... which is great unless you're the evil team...

Today I received a bill from Regence, my health insurance provider. I've received a couple of them but they were fo $400 for the CT scan or $213 for something in the emergency room. I got one today that said "surgery" and was only $1,250. I was kind of baffled. My coworker who had her appendix out told me her bill was $26,000. I couldn't understand. Was it like, refer a friend (we had the same surgeon), and you get it your surgery 900% off? Buy one get one for 1/18 the price? I called my coworker to make absolutely sure that her bill was that expensive. Maybe she was wrong. I really only have $2,000 worth of bills (shoot my dental work was more expensive). She was swearing up and down the price. I made some jokes and decided I should login to my insurance online and see what was pending in my claims area.

I finally go in and sure enough there was a $33,700 bill pending. I have a million opinions about the evils of the insurance industry in general but I'm sure glad I have it -since I don't even have all the bills yet.

Back to normal...??

March came in like a lion and is going out like a lamb - ok - actually it's going out like a lion too. I have the fewest blog postings that I've had in over a year this March. I was often too tired to write in the evening or I was too busy or there wasn't anything great to report besides discomfort, lack of appetite or just ennui. So in anticipation of April, I'll do a recap of the March:

Highlights of March:

Tonight - I went back to the pool! Shawndel - the instructor of hydrofit who cracks me up - welcomed me back. It was super crowded and eventually I moved from the slow lane to the medium lane. Not wanting to overdo it, I only swam for 20 minutes. So glad to back in the pool blowing bubbles.

Last Thursday we launched our new name! Our new logo! Our new website at a work event. It went extremely well. Working on this project for most of my time at work, I spent all day on Friday saying, "I'm so happy! I'm so happy!" And I am. There is so much more work to do but a great chunk of it is done.

My team lost their bout this month. Of course, I didn't get to play and called line-ups instead. I'm not even sure what the heck happened. It definitely didn't feel like we were the same team that played the Pistols in January. However, I have a feeling great things will come from it.

That being said, CarnEvil put together a great performance this weekend. We performed for our masquerade event - a little dance piece to the Bjork song "It's Oh So Quiet" with parasols. I love my team - and their willingness to do these fun and creative things together. They're the best. It's a great team.

Tomorrow I get my bee tattoos and that will end March. My stab wounds are healing and I go back on skates on April 1st. I was able to suffer though a cold this weekend without excruciating pain that was common to coughs and sneezes earlier this month... And as I head out of March, I have to remember to keep it all in perspective. Tonight at my HIV/AIDS Trail Unit Community Advisory Board meeting, a clinician was near tears as budgets dry up and programs that have been monitoring HIV positive men and women in the community disappear. She and her colleague have been calling all of the participants in this observatory program to let them know that after 17 years the program is going away.

I'm glad April is around the corner.

Many interesting things...

My work is getting ready for a new image, a new look, new website and what feels like a million other new things.  This has been years in the planning and I joined the Law Center knowing this.   It's been a ton of work and I've learned a gazillion things - like about Facebook, social networking, marketing, marketing a new brand, creating talking points and a communications plans on top of your job as a fundraiser in general.  It's been interesting, fun, very exciting to be learning and completely stressful.

You know you're stressed out when you would rather be the checkout clerk at your favorite grocery store or at the Kohl's you were just as getting a new outfit for the big event on Thursday.  Not because those jobs aren't less stressful (retail can suck I know from experience!) but because it somehow seems less stressful.  It seems easier.  They seem happy.  Their job seems easy.  And you know you're stressed out because you're acting delusional - I mean dealing with the public is crazy.  I have an office.  I can decide not to answer my phone or ask someone else to deal with people.  Really - that's a good job.

Happy Spring, Happy Words!





It's been rainy and gray these last few weeks, pushing me to that point where I'm about to lose my mind when a little hint of spring shows up and reminds me to hang in there. It will be sunny. I will be able to go camping. All will be good again. Phew.





I was walking by Nordstorms downtown yesterday over lunch when I saw a gorgeous dress in the window that was perfect for my work event next week - the right color - strapless. I had this crazy idea that maybe perhaps it was a $100 dress and not a $500 dress. So I decided to go look at it. A saleswoman saw me looking around and jumped on board to help me find it. We did. It was $500. I just smiled at her and said, Oh you don't have my size (which they didn't) but she insisted that I try on the size one too large. I went into the dressing and did try it on. And it was one size too large. And though it was a beautiful dress it wasn't $500 beautiful. I handed it off to her, told her it was too large and that I would come back when I had more time...like to eat lunch. (They have a great little restaurant. Weedy and I call it "Nordy's" and we love to go - tasty!)

Last night glancing over my hospital delivered, yet to read, Vanity Fair (with our new president on the cover!) when I stumbled across a paragraph of great writing that made me smile - and reread it. The article was about all of the books coming out for Baby Boomers - giving them yet something else to do in life - as James Wolcott was analysing, it was like all of the sudden they all needed to go to the grocery store and grab more experiences in life and try to collect them all. There are the books "a hundred places to visit before you die" or the film "The Bucket List"... I don't have a bucket list. Even with borderline-superhuman effort, I can barely get on major thing done a week, without adding bungee-jumping and whitewater rafting to the activity board. If anything, I take comfort in scratching off lofty to-do items that were basically daydreams that stuck around too long.

I like that, day dreams that stuck around too long. That's a great way to look at the "to-do" list in life.

* photo of the first sign of spring