Obsessive, Compulsive, Inspiration being held at bay...

I am obsessive/compulsive when it comes to cleaning-my-apartment-before-leaving-town.  I have always been this way - and I'm not sure why.  I use to start big projects like sorting thru all of my clothes, going thru the box of "needs to be filed before the next century", or detailed fridge cleaning before I left.  These projects would last well into the night and absolutely had to be done before I left.  But now, without the aid of medication or meditation,  I've got it down to vacuuming, doing laundry, changing bed sheets and putting things away.  

Even if someone else is living with me - I have to clean.  Even if I'm just going out of town for the weekend - I have to vacuum and get things put away.   And it's not because I'm afraid of what my apartment will look like for that person whose coming to check on my cats.  It's not because I'm a fatalist (which I'm not) and think this could be my last trip and someone might have to put my affairs in order.  I think it's because 9 out of 10 times I come back from my vacations or travels late at night, exhausted and the last thing I want to do is find something to wear to work, sort thru a pile of mail that's now two weeks old, clean the rotting food out of the fridge.  I'm truly obsessed.  It's a funny habit.  But at least I am aware... My name is Michelle.  I'm an obsessive compulsive pre-travel cleaner. Give me that sponge and get out of my way.

That being the case and tonight being my only free night before I travel (after a long derby weekend), I skipped out on the HIV Vaccine Awareness Day event at Chop Seuy.  No.  There is still no vaccine for HIV.  But we need to keep working on it.  We need to stay aware.  We need to celebrate where we've come and where we have yet to go.  And I was excited to go to a drag queen fashion show, had a t-shirt specific to the event to wear and hoped to dance the Monday night away.  But the need to clean, (I am aware of my problem) and the even stronger deterrent of freezing cold rain has kept my inspiration at bay.  I didn't even go swimming.  Damn it - the rain - after such a glorious weekend.  It will totally kill your motivation to do just about anything - except clean.