Snowpocalypse Now

The Snowpocalypse is the record amount of snow we may or may not get as predicted by meteorologist all from every news source, including the cable news, weather blogs and NOAA.   This usually happens at least once a year.  The dire prediction starts out with record something - wind, rain, snow-turning-into-rain-into-ice, snow, wind.  Classes get canceled.  People are required to chain up or avoid the mountain passes all together.  Seattleites and Western Washingtonians race to grocery stores to stock up on food, water, booze and fuel. Within hours of the initial announcement of the doom, the forecast is "adjust" and it's not 24 inches of snow anymore but 18" - still scary - still going to turn Denny into a bobsled chute - still going to close Queen Anne Hill.  People are still going to attempt to drive up these hills and come crashing down.  Every single year.  Twelve hours after the first alarm is sounded, the forecast has been reduced even more still.  Now you might have snow.  You may not.  You maybe be asked to stay off the roads - you may be given the go-ahead.

It wears you out.

The whole day my office anxiously anticipated the snowflakes.  I mean who doesn't want a day at home from work (like school!)  Who doesn't want to hang out in their house and "work" - while in sweat pants and a kitty on your lap?  So a flake would fall.  We would get all excited - this would lead to other exciting conversation.  Then the snow would stop.  Then we would be disappointed.  This cycle of expectations would go on and on.  Wash.  Rinse.  Repeat.  Snowflake.  Will there be more?  Should we head to the bus?  Oh the sun came out. 

I finally decided shortly after lunch that for my sanity and the sanity of my other coworkers I would find a very special Zen place and re-the-fucking-lax about the snow.  It wasn't happening - at least not in Seattle.  And even if it did happen, there wouldn't be enough snow for me NOT to go to work.  And you know, as soon as I went there - I stopped worrying about it and actually had a very productive and nice rest of the day. 

I would still love to wake up to SNOWPOCALYPSE.  But I'm not holding my breath (though my fingers are still crossed.)

My comeback at the start of Season Five...

"You are absolutely brilliant! I am in awe of your prowess and I'm so glad to see you back at better than 100%" one of my teammates texted me at the end of Jet City Rollergirls Season 5 opener this weekend.   I was thrilled by my performance in my first regular season bout since 2010.  Though I had been back form my ACL injury for 6 months, I was missing my confidence and strength. My decision to not skate for the travel team at this time (due to work) gave me another opportunity to just focus on my recovery.  I had so much to prove this weekend - to myself.  And to my team.  2011 was not my ending - was not the one I had scripted for myself.  I learned an incredible amount watching from the sidelines and I was out to prove that I was still a force to be reckoned with.  

The starts of Season 5 was much like the start of every other season.  There were a few missteps in getting things rolling as we tried to remember how things were done the year before when we rolled up the floor for the last time in June.  While volunteers and skaters busied themselves getting the floor set up, I hung up sponsor posters, set up tables, helped Ivana with ticketing.   Just as we were finishing laying out the floor, the cold rain that had accompanied us up to Everett turned to fat snowflakes blanketing just about everyone and everything.  Then doubt started sinking in.  We were there.  We would make sure derby happened but would our fans come?  Would we filled the seats?  Would we kick of Season 5 with as much energy and enthusiasm as we did with Season 4?  In the snow novice Pacific Northwest, weather like this creates panic.  We texted; we Facebooked; we let everyone know that we would be there to skate and they should join us.

And they did!  We had a great crowd for our two bouts which were absolute nailbiters!  The Pistols and Harem bout came down to the wire as did the Carnie and Hula bout.  A local derby writer, who has seen more bouts than just about anyone I can think of, said these may have been his favorite bouts ever.   It was "epic" - truly.  The Carnies were down by a few points at the half and dipped down to a twenty point deficit.  The time outs were called at the right times.  We kept a cool bench for the most part.  At half time we made some changes.  What we needed to do to break up their walls and force on offense.  (I had mostly jammed to this point and would throughout the second half.  And though I wasn't always lead jammer - I always got out of the pack (thanks blockers) and was able to force the jammer to call it off.  And in spite of my injury, I was able to retain my characteristic stable jamming - I just didn't get knocked down that often.  I managed to pull off an amazing whip off our smallest blocker and sailed through on one foot.  It was awesome.)

At one point, Audrey threw away the line ups and made up two killer lineups that pulled us into the lead - barely.  But when it came down to the last jam we were in a bind that we hadn't been in a long time - we had only two skaters on the track - the jammer and one blocker.  Three blockers in the box - with one coming.  A gaggle of small errors lead us to this point and our goose was cooked as our jammer went to the box doing her best to stop the opposing jammer.  I lost my cool for a minute - I forgot how much I hated to lose - especially after working this hard as a team.  And though it stung - it wasn't as bad as it was in years past.  We were in a positive place. Our mistakes were recognizable.  We were close and cohesive.  The crazy chair was minimally occupied.  I got mad.  Got over it and skated our high-fives.  It felt so incredible to be back.

*punk rocker snowman with snow bunny in my neighborhood.  He is what greeted us when we aborted our plans to go to Columbia City for brunch with Arson.  We settled for yummy breakfast on Phinney with punk rockers.

.

Rawr!

Pow!  2012 has come in like the roaring dragon that it promises to be this Chinese New Year.  Earlier this week Governor Gregoire announced her support for marriage equality and today there was a press conference were a handful of representatives and other community members announce the Reproductive Parity Act and their support for it.  Many months at the end of 2011 were spent building up to these moments.  It's exciting, exilerating and completely exhausting.  And this is only week one.
 
(Picture of the full moon tonight - like a little present for getting through the week.)

Believing again and again...

Tonight's scrimmage was not the Carnies' most shining moment.  It wasn't the worst we've been either - not by a long shot.  We all left the floor still liking each other, not nearly frustrated enough but a little bit clueless about what to do.  It was also the first time we had all been together since break.  I raced home to find this quote and repost it to my team - because I believe it.  Because I believe if you try hard enough, with the right spirit and strength - you can not lose.

"In the end, it's extra effort that separates a winner from second place. But winning takes a lot more that that, too. It starts with complete command of the fundamentals. Then it takes desire, determination, discipline, and self-sacrifice. And finally, it takes a great deal of love, fairness and respect for your fellow man. Put all these together, and even if you don't win, how can you lose?"- Jesse Owens

I play for the the league's least winning team.  I play but I keep coming back. I keep coming back because in spite of the crazy, the frustration, the losses, our team spirit is very strong.  We actually like each other.  We respect each other.  We care for each other.  And that makes you want to come back.  We may need to push each other a bit more (and some of us may need to look in the mirror before we throw that stone at that glass house) but the spirit is just right on that team.
And that's what keeps me coming back.

I have faith that we will get it together in the next week to put on a great game and give the Hulas a run for their money.  I also found my rose colored glasses.  (I hope they still fit, they've been misplaced for a while.)

Today

 

Today:

• worked on Marriage Equality in Washington
• prepared for a press conference for Sunday
• thanked supporters
• planned a house party
• had a beer - or two

Whooped.



KA-POW!

I'm the pony.  The dinosaurs are 2012.  If I stand real still no one will notice... (except maybe the giraffe.)

And we're off...


(*thanks to 2 year old Benny - who presented me with such a image.)

New Year's Resolutions

I'm not one to make New Year's Resolutions. I made typically impossible ones in the past.  Save more money (like how much more?  $50? $500?  $5,000.)  Lose weight. (I don't know that I've ever really thought that but most people did so it seemed like a good one for the non conformist to follow.) Write more (ahh, but the muscle is so weak!)  Date more (why?)  Fight for peace in the Middle East (not exactly sure how.)  Workout more (how can I do this when I'm doing 10,000 other things.) Travel more (yes!  Agree!)  Etc.  And most of them were forgotten in about a week or two.  I'm a person of action - if I need to make a resolution to change something in my life then what I really need to do is change something in my life.  Not make a resolution.  And that's where resolutions fail me.

However, I am a big fan of "if you say it out loud you make true" (so then you have to do.)  "I will write more in 2012."  I said it out loud.  Just now.  I also wrote it on my friend Christopher's Facebook page (or I agreed to his status about writing more and said I want to do that too.)  I told others - most of them in my head - that I would write more. 

But it's more than just writing more.  I want to take my creative self - who I have locked in a box, shoved in the corner of the closet, piled coats and sweaters upon and bolted the closet door shut - out again and invite her to get involved again.  I use to get so crabby when I didn't do anything creative.  My close friends could tell I just needed to dance - write - sew - paint - bake - create something - anything.  And then I would be happy - and whole.  But eventually, I started to ignore her. It wasn't easy at first but then it became something I didn't have time for.  Something I could push aside.  Something I couldn't justify spending time doing anyway. Something that wasn't as important as x, y or z.  (I mean there were rights to be fought for!  There were people who needed my help!  There were countries imploding!)  And eventually she went away.  I would let her out when I needed something for someone else - like to make ornaments for my team.  Or to sew helmet covers for the league.  Or to edit someone else's writing.  But never just for me.

There were multiple epiphanies this year.  One of them was at a sing along for Hedwig and the Angry Inch put on by the Seattle International Film Festival - which is a fantastic play/movie about many things but discovering your other half and becoming a whole person is part of it. I spent nearly the whole event in near tears (and not very good company.)   I told a friend about this - about this need to be with my creative self and she said "but Michelle, I mean isn't this a phase - don't we outgrow this?"  No.  It's not.  Why would you lock half of yourself in the closet - in a box - and pile coats on top of her?

So I'm working on letting her out of her box and inviting her to hang out more often.  It's likely not going to be easy at first.  I doubt we trust each other that much.  There is much work to do (and we both need to spend more time a the gym or the bar) but I'm going to try.  Because honestly it's more than just about writing and being creative.  It's about being whole.  And that's my New Year's Resolution.

Welcoming in 2012!

Today Arson and I did the 5k Resolution Run which ends in a polar bear plunge - or more of a swim - which is what polar bears on more apt to do anyway.  There were many more people there this year than last year (according to the announcer) and the beautiful sunny day - in the 40's - made for a great run and little swim.   Last year, Arson and I started running one 5k a month just for fun and I've truly enjoyed them.  (And I'm not so sure that it's the running as much as I really do enjoy getting dressed up and running with friends.)  She's been a great running buddy especially in races that involve an extra dare - like the Warrior Dash (5k mud run through an obstacle course) or this.  When we reach that moment of extra challenge and I often find her reaching out her hand - a "let's do this together" kind a gesture that gives you confidence to push through - whatever it is - jumping over fire or jumping into freezing water.  And I appreciate that about her.  She often says she would never imagine herself doing these things years ago.  But I kind of think she's just the kind of person whose perfect to do just these kinds of thing.

Happy New Year.  I'm can't wait to get started!