Painting Empty Bowls...

Today, Derika, Dani, Lara and I went to the Ballard Community Center (which I've often walked by but never entered) to paint "Empty Bowls" for the Seattle Food Bank. A group makes the bowls. The community (us) are invited to paint the bowls (and we did) and then they're sold at a fundraiser (which I will be out of town). We arrived, after having lunch together, to paint some bowls. It was a wonderful time together. We all had different ideas for our bowls. We were in a community center. We were painting bowls for an event that none of us could attend. It was nice to give to the Ballard Food Bank (which was the organization my Christmas gift went to this year.) It was nice to be slightly creative. It was nice to spend the afternoon with friends.

I like empty bowls.

Overwhelmed...

Some days are just overwhelming. They may start out that way or become that as the day wears on. I caught my bus in plenty of time. Didn't get soaking wet. I had a very productive morning with a little bit of nervousness and thrill as I had to turn people away from an already packed house party we're having after work tomorrow about a woman whose story of being taken away from her lesbian parents (which was common in the 70's) was turned into a film and she's presenting from her new book.

But as the day wore on and the bills we're proposing in the state legislature (including an anti-shackling bill and an anti crisis pregnancy center bill) gained footing and endorsements even from those we least expected it; the overwhelming emotional roller coaster of anxiety and joy became dread as I watched the pictures of Haiti pour in.

I had missed the tsunami in 2004. I had spent the entire weekend reading "We Wish to Inform You That Tomorrow We Will Be Killed With Our Families" which was about Rwanda. I curled up on the sofa, with a blanket and two kittie friends and read about a tragedy that the world ignored for the entire weekend. When I arrived at work on Monday I was stunned and shocked. (Because of that, I check CNN habitually, daily. Often 3-5 times a day.) Haiti is another tragic story. But this one hits a little bit closer to me - probably because I've been in very poor countries and I know what "standard" construction means. Probably because I know there is not a heck of a lot of general sympathy for a country that hasn't had a day of peace in 200 years and fights daily against poverty, corruptions, AIDS, poverty and corruption. Probably because they're black/Africa and the world often basis it's sympathy on the color of your skin. And it breaks my heart.

So I left work slightly panicked and anxious. I was drenched as the wind pushed rain down my shoes, soaking my pants and socks, bent back my umbrella (why do I even try?) and I hopped on the next bus just wishing it could take me somewhere kind of bright and sunny and happy but it took me home instead - which was fine too. I sat on the sofa and ate a piece of chocolate. I watched the news, looked a photos online, read some of the stupid things that people were saying. Lara suggested we get sushi (there went my plan to swim) and I took a cat nap after dinner. I didn't wake up feeling any better. And I don't know why I just didn't throw in the towel and call it a day... probably because I have the luxury of doing so...

*cartoon from NatalieDee.com

Gearing up for 2010...

Today I spent the day somewhat panicked. Tomorrow is the official start of 2010 - officially. I feel the loom of impossible goals at work, inspiring goals in derby and personal goals that are both a mix of those two and some of my own. I dreaded today - I dreaded the Sunday before the Monday of the official 2010. But it turned out to be a great day - much to my surprise. I met with Bess at Nervous Nellie's to drink Americanos, eat toast (their "thing" - delicious), and play with budget numbers, figure out how we're going to "get it done". We went back to the apartment, changed into our swim suits, grabbed Lara and headed to hydrofit at the Ballard Pool. Our instructor was Bill - who's awesome! He works out on the side of the pool as he describes the next set and has us sweating up a storm in the pool. He's a far different instructor than Crystal (at Greenlake Pool) - but they're both incredible in their own ways. I love to sweat in the pool. He kicked out butts.

Then errands. Lunch. Pick up my skates (thank goodness - my toe stops won't be falling out anymore!) Grocery shopping at the Fred. Finish up our shopping at Ballard Market (trying to save more money by shopping at the Fred first, Market second). Clean the kitchen. (Washington grows many things very well - apple, grapes, hops, cherry and mold! I am always fighting mold.) Took the bedding, all of it, to the laundry mat which is "now under new management". I don't know what it takes to manage a laundry mat - I don't imagine that it is much but they're never nice and clean. I played solitaire. I stared down a woman who was taking up ALL of the dryers (is there a social etiquette for how many dryers you can monopolize?) Vacuumed. Ate dinner. Sent emails. Prepared. Prepared for 2010.

It's going to be a kick ass year!

Right?

* zoo in the bathroom - all the little friends that are given to me or I acquire... the octopus is the newest addition. She trusts no one. He he he.

We all have to have goals...

Most people, according to their Facebook posts or conversations I had with them (even the retailers at the mall) were ready to kick 2009 to the curb. Fair enough. It was a craptastic year for many people for a variety of reasons. I saw it as one of the most stressful in my fundraising career though one of the most fun in my 4 year old derby career (however the omentum surgery sure threw a wrench into things.) For as many reasons as there was to pull out your hair, gnash your teeth, to resign to tears, there were just as many reasons to laugh, smile with pure joy or have the words "I love you!" or "thank you" burst from your lips. Some of my favorite things about 2009:

1. Being award 2008 MVP for Jet City Rollergirls

2. Discovering Bend, Oregon (love, love, love this town)

3. Becoming the favorite aunt at McKenna's birthday party (OMG - what great times with the girls, they're the best!)

4. Rediscovering swimming and other swim classes (low impact, so good for the heart, and just fun)

5. Surprises! (And there were many of them, flowers from Rebecca, a dress from my mother, a card from the league)

6. Philanthropy - though it was a hard year for most people (including myself) I donated more money than ever to a variety of causes.

7. My East Coast trip (was a wonderful way to reconnect with my friends in Boston, DC, and see Nationals)

8. My friends' successes: Weedy getting into Harvard, Sara going to Texas, Kathy's sold out "Western Field Experience", Ally and Bess reaching their goals, amazing year end at work, etc.

9. Discovering Cama Beach on Camano Island (Lara and I spent Thanksgiving in awesome, cheap cabins, played cards, ate Turkey dinner and chased crabs late at night in low tide)

10. New Friends

I can't wait for 2010! Especially if everyone else can't either...