Overwhelmed...

Some days are just overwhelming. They may start out that way or become that as the day wears on. I caught my bus in plenty of time. Didn't get soaking wet. I had a very productive morning with a little bit of nervousness and thrill as I had to turn people away from an already packed house party we're having after work tomorrow about a woman whose story of being taken away from her lesbian parents (which was common in the 70's) was turned into a film and she's presenting from her new book.

But as the day wore on and the bills we're proposing in the state legislature (including an anti-shackling bill and an anti crisis pregnancy center bill) gained footing and endorsements even from those we least expected it; the overwhelming emotional roller coaster of anxiety and joy became dread as I watched the pictures of Haiti pour in.

I had missed the tsunami in 2004. I had spent the entire weekend reading "We Wish to Inform You That Tomorrow We Will Be Killed With Our Families" which was about Rwanda. I curled up on the sofa, with a blanket and two kittie friends and read about a tragedy that the world ignored for the entire weekend. When I arrived at work on Monday I was stunned and shocked. (Because of that, I check CNN habitually, daily. Often 3-5 times a day.) Haiti is another tragic story. But this one hits a little bit closer to me - probably because I've been in very poor countries and I know what "standard" construction means. Probably because I know there is not a heck of a lot of general sympathy for a country that hasn't had a day of peace in 200 years and fights daily against poverty, corruptions, AIDS, poverty and corruption. Probably because they're black/Africa and the world often basis it's sympathy on the color of your skin. And it breaks my heart.

So I left work slightly panicked and anxious. I was drenched as the wind pushed rain down my shoes, soaking my pants and socks, bent back my umbrella (why do I even try?) and I hopped on the next bus just wishing it could take me somewhere kind of bright and sunny and happy but it took me home instead - which was fine too. I sat on the sofa and ate a piece of chocolate. I watched the news, looked a photos online, read some of the stupid things that people were saying. Lara suggested we get sushi (there went my plan to swim) and I took a cat nap after dinner. I didn't wake up feeling any better. And I don't know why I just didn't throw in the towel and call it a day... probably because I have the luxury of doing so...

*cartoon from NatalieDee.com