Tea....

I popped a "happy pill" in my bath tub tonight along with some absence salt to take out some of the poison from the day. It had been an antagonistic long day at work (um, who ever said that women's rights work was easy) followed by a long board meeting and a happy pill was just what I needed. The happy pill you buy from Lush - its orange and lemon scents melded together (thanks Audrey!) with a bunch of sodium bicarbonate (baking soda). It's warm, fuzzy fun that smells great and turns your bathwater into ice tea. Friday, the cat, licked my shoulder and for a moment the ice tea I was sitting in became a 1970's poisoned river from which the book Yellow Springs was derived - or maybe not - that's the kind of day I was having.

Tonight I talked to the Political Organizer of the Washington Obama campaign and she did little to reassure the panic I felt at noon today - when I called my mother and best friend - begging them both to get involved with the campaign. Pleating. My mother said she would call next week. (I figured she owed me from all the envelopes I licked closed for the various Republican campaigns as a kid.) My best friend felt like she couldn't do much about it (not true!) The thing is I think I'm still recovering from 2004 when I worked as an organizer for Planned Parenthood, Move On and other groups. I put in a gazillion hours from August to November and somehow I didn't win. (After crumpling in tears, my work sent me home.) The thing is, after that election, I don't have the emotional energy to do that kind of work. It's too much with work - derby -relationships - but I have less energy for four more years like we have now. So I'll find it - in the bottom of my gut - somewhere hidden and I will throw myself into it. Because I have to. Because no one told me that my work would be easy. Any of it.

One thing not related to politics or anything is just about bills. I became a beer drinker for three reasons 1. beer is cheaper than wine 2. it causes less headaches and 3. beer is cheaper than wine. I truly enjoy wine - love it - in fact. But I will take an IPA over a glass of wine any day. And that comes from my years of working in the ".org" as opposed to the ".com". I didn't make enough money to buy wine. I would go out with my friends and for $10 I could get to pints and throw in a buck for the tips/taxes/appetizer. The glasses of wine cost $12 each. I couldn't afford that. So I drank what I could afford and my taste is for "beer" over wine - but I do like wine. Tonight, I paid $50 for two beer and a snack. My total bill was $24 but when you get the check and everyone is like "split is X of ways" - you end up paying for peoples $16 glass of wine (um, that would be 4 beers!) I guess I'm just more sensitive - because I was that person that couldn't afford beer. And I had those friends that didn't drink. If you order caviar and I order fries -sometimes there's more to it than preference... like maybe environment or a million other reasons.

Thank goodness for that bath. The poison has all but vanished. I have another long day tomorrow - actually the whole rest of the week. But I'll find the energy. No one told me my work would be easy.