That is what Jason, my acupuncturist kept saying to me on Wednesday after work. Trust me. He had gotten my newly dog-biting knee to bend so far back I swear my leg was twisted like a pretzel. Of course, this mantra came after a needle hit the nerve it was supposed to but sent an emotional shock of electricity through my leg and I thought I had kicked him. But I burst into tears instead. It was fine. The whole appointment was great save for that one part. Trust me. And I told him how interesting it was, that my body was learning to trust my knees again. You failed us! You caused us great grief. Now they say trust me. He agreed that was part of the problem of pain - that you are hurt like that and you need to trust your body to do its job again. The whole hour ended up being about trust and I walked up the stairs to my apartment like I usually do, no over compensating in my calves, but just up. And it worked. We were starting to trust each other again.
Tonight at practice we stretched (limited) and I helped with plyometrics... and then I went to put on my skates and I said to my knees, what do you want to do? And they said back to me - we trust YOU. Ok actually, my knees said nothing of the sort but I did come to a compromise with myself - my body needs to trust my knees not to let me fall and bring back that biting dog that so terribly hurt me and my knees need to trust my body not to push too hard. And it worked out. We had a great time together. Not pushing too hard and not going too strong. Just enough - enough so that we, my body and knees, went dancing after practice - at Neighbors for 80's night, which was super fun. I ran into Drew Blood there (who I've danced with before out at clubs) who was just getting back to dancing after cracking vertebrae (4) in her back. Neighbors kicked me out with "Under Pressure" - Queen - Freddie Mercury - which has, in the past made me cry. The logic goes like this: I love Queen. I loved Freddie Mercury. He died of AIDS. I hated the 80's. I hate Ronald Regan (for never, ever acknowledging the problem). Oh God what are we going to do? Then I'm overwhelmed. But tonight it was just my other fabulous teammates, Drew Blood, a shot someone didn't want to drink and my knees trusting me.
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1 comment:
What a fabulous description of the importance of trust across the board....thanks.
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