On my bus...

I learned, probably in a Malcolm Gladwell book, that we could have, at max, 150-200 meaningful relationships.  It's called Dunbar's Number and it had to do with the maximum number of members in social groups.  I like to think of my life as a bus, driving through and participating in some most amazing experiences.  Only 200 people can have a seat on my bus (or anyone's bus) at any given time.  This is also why I'm not terribly sad when friends fade away.  This is also who I don't consider high school, college, Peace Corps, roller derby, the greatest "time of my life".  Because then it would mean my bus had stopped and I had stopped.  My bus keeps moving along to the next adventure.  I don't like to lose friends but there is no way that they can all fit on my bus.  And as we grow and change in life, we want different people to have a seat.  I'm still friends with a few people from childhood, college, Peace Corps, when I lived in Cleveland, etc.  Though social media like Facebook has helped me stay connected with some of these folks, there's still only so much room on the bus.

I'm amazed by all the people I've met and who riding on my bus right now - just as I was amazed 10 years ago. I know a rock climbing, super nerdy physical therapist, a long time project manager and mother of two kids who run or run stairs with me anytime time. I know a handful of nerdy scientists - like real ones who work in labs, run experiments and have to go into work in off hours to "stir the soup" - and I know writer who report on that soup. I have friends that are very talented knitters, seamstresses and crafters - who not just have visions of amazing but can then put those skills to work and create murals, sweaters, collages, and games. I have friends who are compassionate doctors who manage elderly people's deaths and slightly crazy nurses who will likely save your life, friends who love dogs more than people and people who love delicious red wine and gourmet food above all else.  I have friends who have been convicted of felonies and can't travel to Canada and friends who are city cops and municipal judges.  I have a friend from third grade who I remember meeting and memorizing her phone number.  I have friends who are living with HIV. I have friends who have followed a very traditional path from school, to college to a chosen profession - whether they chose that path or not - I have friends have yet to find their path and probably never will and don't mind a damn bit.  I have friends who in are the midst of very intense career changes.  I have friends on the bus who will run a marathon with me, a silly 5k sprint, race up the steepest stairs, or hike the most beautiful trail we can find within 30 minutes of the city.  I have friends who will camp under the stars in Western Washington discussing feminist politics and believe in me as strongly as a believe in them.  I have friends who have spent their wholes lives fighting for justice from Washington state to South Sudan and back again and I have friends who don't even know what injustice really means.  I have friends who will go boxing with me at Cappy's gym and then have beers at Chuck's in the CD.  I have friends who will join at a local brewery on any given weekend, trying new tasty brews or settling into old favorites.  I have friends who have taught me how to garden in my community P Patch.

And this is just some of the people on my bus - at this moment - today.  There are empty seats and some of my friends aren't going to stay on this bus for long.  They might step off and hop onto someone else's bus.  And that's ok.  They're absolutely wonderful people.  You'll love having them as friends.