25 years....

That's when AIDS was first "discovered". It's amazing to think of the impact of it since then. I grew up with it - not understanding it; being completely terrified of it; sympathetic because of it. AIDS had impacted me profoundly. 25 years ago...

I remember it clearly in middle school. I remember learning about Ryan White. I remember reading the covers of Time magazines. I remember its huge impact in the arts community and the biased views that came with it - all these arts, musicians, actors, incredible people that I admired were dying suddenly. I remember my mother saying that if I went into the arts, I would spend all of my time at funerals (and she was right, then, I would have). I remember people saying it was the "wrath of God" on the gay and drug addict community - of course until straight people started to die. I remember my older friends telling me about casual sex in the 1970's and how that was never really an option for me and my generation - you always had to be protected - sex could kill you.

And it still can.

AIDS, oddly, is something I'm very passionate about. From my brief but pivotal stint at the Free Clinic of Greater Cleveland to Peace Corps to my continued work with Planned Parenthood, it's something I still think about - all of the time.

In Cote d'Ivoire I worked with a nun and we worked with AIDS patients. Of course there was no test in my town, but we often knew who had AIDS. Tati's husband was a trucker. Her son died at two. She has all the symptoms of TB but no TB. She had AIDS and she was dying. She couldn't understand why we wouldn't give her drugs for TB. So we hospitalized her for the weekend and sent her home to her family. She died by the next market day. Heidi's best friend in the Ivory Coast died from AIDS while we lived there. I went to visit her with my French boyfriend at the best hospital in Abidjan. It was the rainy season and this "incredible hospital" had leaks in every room - 10 people where packed in the six rooms that weren't pouring in water. We finally found her and I wanted to scream, cry, laugh. She had light pink medication all over her boil filled body - she looked like a Muppet. She said Hi and asked "how were my people". I said fine. Then I did cry. She died leaving three wonderful children behind.

I have friends here in the States living with AIDS on of whom is generally always "under the weather". I have friends who have told me to never tell anyone about it because they're still so afraid of the stigma.

And so I go on the AIDS Walks - in any town. I've done the one in Cleveland 5 or 6 times and now I'm going to be a part of the one in Seattle. If you, my dear blog readers, would like to sponsor me - click on this link.

As opposed to feeling powerless like I have recently, this is something we can do. We can walk. We can raise awareness. We can hope it makes peoples' lives better.